I WILL TELL YOUR MOTHER!

Growing up, like every other kid hearing "I will tell your mother" was the scariest thing EVER! Funny thing was I was more scared of my dad than my mum. Depending on how grievous the act was, when mum gets back she would say "wait till your father gets home! That is when I will be ready for Jesus to come down and take me 'cos to me judgement day was better than facing my father. I would slave for you for the rest of my life if you would not report me to my parents. My cousins, pretty little angels, recently came visiting and I must confess they are so adorable, with soft, smooth face, simply beautiful... till acne sets in.




All they say is i'm going to tell your mummy you did this or that, Seriously, if only they knew that they don't make any sense whatsoever, they might just pause for a bit then speak. I believe speaking is so fascinating to them, they are ready to say anything. Whenever they bring up the "I will tell your mummy/daddy line" am like go ahead dearie, I ain't scared. See them over there should I call them for you? They would just sink, speechless. Haha! but when they have committed! OMG! Omah steps right in like a boss mehn... Its about to go down, I will tell them back " I will tell you mummy you touched her makeup or wore her perfume"...Come and see begging and petting of the highest order... am sorry naw, I wouldn't do it again, pls forgive me... touching my face and all that, making me feel like one Don. I can hear someone say pick on someone your own size. Wow! seriously, you guys wouldn't even let me gloat? Thanks guys, thats awesome, mood killers of life! mstchew...
Want to scare the life out of an adult or someone your own size? Just do as I say, and you will get the apology of a lifetime. Except if the person freaks out and decides to call the police on you...
Now, if someone makes you angry and you want to get back at that person, look the person straight in  the eye, don't blink, keep your face defence stern and serious and tell the person... I know where you live! ,in a low voice, then walk away, like a BOSS! Not too fast and not too slow, keep your self composed and don't look back for any reason. Keep walking and don't smile. At anyone. Has a great effect if you really know where the person stays.
If you don't know where the person stays, same face defence, stern look and eye contact, same low voice, then tell the person. I will find out where you live and when I do, I will come and GET you! Walk away like the BOSS that you are.
BOOM!!!! that person will come and beg for your forgiveness and from then on, gain your respect. Its not when the person comes, you will run and say I forgive you o! #epicfail. Do shakara small then forgive the person. Don't take too long, before the person will carry you go police station. Always know when to stop.
You are own your own if you do it to your boss at work, parents or guardians. My hand no dey there o!

So leave your comments my darlings and tell me just how good you did! *wink* . I hope I am not creating monsters?!