JOURNEY TO THE BSc (Blog Series Ep13)

BRIGHTER DAYS AHEAD

I lifted myself up, hoped on God and took it one step at a time. I wrote my papers and when second semester came, I did what needed to be done. I wrote my papers and took my situation in good faith. When school went on break, I stayed behind around the school environment kept popping to exams and records to ensure that my papers where in order. I sacrificed my holiday even when my family convinced me to come back and settle it when school resumed.

Thankfully, the school provided summer for students like me who were not able to write their final first semester exams. I was extremely elated. When I thought there was a casting down, there was actually a lifting up in my life. I was glad that even with the obstacles that were rolled in my path; I was still able to graduate with my "peers".

Clearance came after the second semester final exams. I breezed through all the clearance officers but one. A problem arose when it reached the last and the most important clearance ever, Sister Purisima’s clearance. Sister Purisima is the most revered sister in the whole of Madonna University combined. She was literally the voice of Father but why point and kill had so much weight would forever be a riddle to me.

There were rumors that Sister Purisima had the instinct to see and know when a truth is told or not, it was like God put her in Madonna to bring hope to the hopeless that indeed justice could prevail.

Time for my final clearance with sister, my mind was far away. I was planning on my movement after the clearance and if I was going to leave school after clearance or wait till the next day. Now, it had reached my turn to be cleared so I submitted all of my receipts and clearance papers on her table and waited to be cleared. As she checked their validity, I was lost in thought.

Then she called my attention to a receipt that had writings behind it and my chest started to race. I remember that day, the day I wanted to carry expo for the first time in my life in the whole of my stay in that school and decided it was a horrible mistake last minute. I would rather fail the French paper than be caught and face expulsion.

She asked me what the writings were, at this time, I was shaking. She asked who owned the writings; I couldn’t say anything it was as though my voice was seized at that moment. That was when it dawned on me that I couldn’t even lie to save my life. As I saw the end of my life flash before my eyes; first I wasn’t promoted, then I wasn’t a student of the school and now expo that I never used is going to lead to my expulsion?! All this hard-work, all the dedication, all these years in this hell of a school?! .. For what?  Just for me to end like this?! Well, here I come God; I am going to take my life the moment the bus leads me to post because I can’t even imagine what could be worse than this.

As she became impatient with me, I was even more impatient with all the rubbish that was uprising in my life. So, as I looked at her; with a heavy heart, pain in my eyes and defeat in my soul. Unsure of; if I should kill myself, if I’ll make it to heaven or hell, I told her… “Sister I have never taken expo in my life to exam hall” I just kept repeating that and as I waited for the school security to drag me to G-unit, with the most horrible dramatic exit ever. Screaming my lungs out begging sister for forgiveness for a crime I did not commit but my finger prints on the murder weapon. My parents flashed before my eyes and I knew I’d rather die than face them with the biggest humiliation or disappointment ever…

She looked at me and told me to go and pay for invalid receipt. She said my receipt had eleven payments and for that reason, I should pay 11k at the bursary for invalid receipt. Everyone stopped what they were doing even her secretary and looked at me in disbelief. I just stood there like a bag of salt, unmoving because I didn’t understand what had been said. The whole hall was silent (this is because when sister spoke, there is a stillness and everyone listens. Even students in the conjoining classes came out to see what was happening). She repeated herself again and gave me back my receipt and said next... I was lost in my thought. I went to the far back of the other class and just sat there, thinking and then tears flowed.

The moment when I thought God had forsaken me, the only morning I woke up and forgot to pray. God showed me that even in my problems, even in the storm, He was there. He never left.